A Question for Wednesday

This is more directed towards the men who might be reading, so ladies out there, I hope you’ll forgive me.

Gentlemen, how are some ways that you show your wife you love her? What are some of the things you do that fail to show that?

Last week, I wrote about why I love my wife, but there’s something I do that frustrates her to no end: When I forget to write things on the calendar, it drives her nuts. It may seem like a small thing, but go with me for a second. When I don’t write something down on the calendar, a meeting, a social event, an appointment, it creates a false expectation for a day or evening. If Emily doesn’t know I’m meeting with a friend, or have a business engagement, she expects me (rightly) to be at home with her and Abigail. She makes plans accordingly.

Last night is a perfect example. I forgot to write down that I was meeting with someone; we talked about it, but because of bus schedules, it caused me to have to leave very early—before I had the opportunity to eat the meal she was lovingly preparing for me and spend some quality time with her.

This was not very loving of me, to say the least.

In forgetting to write this down, I not only created a false expectation of the evening, but I created a huge amount of unnecessary work. Had I written the appointment down, Emily would not have gone to the trouble of preparing a meal that I enjoy very much for us to eat. Had I written down the appointment, she would not have had her expectations of the evening squashed.

It’s funny how it’s really the little things that do it, isn’t it?

I can apologize, and do, but if I consistently fail to do this, how can I say I’m treating my wife with the love and consideration she is due?

So here’s what I suggest: Men, let’s ask our wives what we do that is unloving to them. Let’s not be defensive in our posture; let’s not try to explain away these things.

Let’s repent of these things, not simply apologizing, but truly turn away from those things that say to our wives that we don’t love them.

Let’s show our wives the love we should.

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  • http://thechurchofjesuschrist.wordpress.com/ Polycarp

    Well said. I did not come from a loving home – divorced parents, step-parents and only one side, grand-parents. I can only look to one set of grand-parents to see a proper way for a husband to treat a wife.

    I do my best to tell my wife I love her all the time, but there are things that I do which drive her completely off the wall, such as forget to do things, etc…

    I believe that your advice is well given, and I might just take it when I get home tonight.

    • http://bloggingtheologically.com Aaron

      Thanks for your comments, Polycarp. If you have the conversation with your wife, please let me know how it goes. Have a wonderful evening.

  • Darryl Smith

    I also agree with your comments Aaron. Tracy is really big on the details so putting things in the calendar is a big one for me too. Forgetting is also a big hitter because it can give the impression that I just don’t care enough to remember – the truth is that I’m just a wee bit of a scatter brain and can’t focus at times when there are too many things swirling around in my head!

    I would like to suggest that you give your wife a good foot rub with some peppermint lotion. All women are not big on that but it sure goes over well when it ends the day for Tracy before she puts her head on the pillow!

    • http://bloggingtheologically.com Aaron

      Ah, the foot rub. With peppermint lotion even.

      I may have to do that. Although tonight I settled for a container of Kit Kat ice cream (it’s a hit!)