One of the common concerns I’ve seen come up again and again about blogging (and Twitter… and Facebook…) is that it’s inherently selfish. Well, while I think that critique is a tad overstated, there’s no denying that blogging certainly can stroke our egos.
No one said that pride was logical.
There’s a sense in which we all (even introverted weirdos like me) love attention—and on the Internet, it’s surprisingly easy to get it. Now, the best way to get people to pay attention to what you’re saying is to have something worth saying… but sometimes that takes too long. Here are a few ways you can get attention on the Internets (even if they’re not the right way):
1. Start an online “discernment” ministry. There is an art to the discernment ministry. I’m always impressed at how someone can write a post smashing theological progressives/liberals/whatever-you-want-to-call-them by citing a conservative celebrity pastor can then turn around and smash said conservative celebrity in the next post (or paragraph). That takes serious skill, though I’m not sure it’s what Jude had in mind when he exhorted us to contend for the faith.
2. Culture guerrilla warfare. You too can become the voice of your generation (maybe) with the time tested practice of not-so-subtly implying someone may be on the wrong side of history, theology, and/or your own preferences on any number of hot-button issues (and best of all, this approach works regardless of where you land on the theological spectrum!).
3. Leaving and/or returning and/or leaving evangelicalism. The tradition you grew up with is behind the times or is so compromised it’s time to leave it all behind. Get ready to say goodbye to evangelicalism.
And this time you really mean it.
4. Post about sex. It can be pretty much anything. In fact, the more likely it is to set off Covenant Eyes or send a warning to your accountability buddies with X3 Watch, the better. You’ll be pretty much guaranteed to get the wrong kind of traffic, but you’ll probably get a boost (and maybe someone will stop and read a gospel appeal…)
5. Choose a nemesis. Whether it’s public education vs homeschooling, formula-feeding vs nursing, or old Mark Driscoll vs new Mark Driscoll, you’ll probably get some crazy traffic. At a minimum, you’ll get some crazy comments, and that’s almost as good, right?
6. Quit blogging (or at least post that you’re thinking about it). Read the comments from people telling you how much they’ll miss you. Blog more than ever. Repeat ad infinitum.
Did I miss any?
(P.S. It should go without saying that this post was written with my tongue firmly in my cheek.)
Updated May 2015.