May 27th is my wife’s and my seventh wedding anniversary (we celebrated 13 years as a couple in January). This is kind of a big deal, not only because it means we’re now among those who’ve been married the longest in our homeland of Canada (maybe), but it means we’ve beat the fabled seven-year-itch.
What is this condition, you ask?
The seven-year-itch is the mid-life crisis in a marriage when all of a sudden you find yourself riding a motorcycle to get groceries (or so I’ve heard). Fortunately for me, neither of us have any interest in riding motorbikes to No Frills or anywhere else for that matter.
What’s been really helpful for me to remember during our marriage so far is that marriage takes a lot of work. Honestly, I understand why some people throw in the towel. When you’re both completely stressed about money and not talking about it, when you’re feeling the weight of a job you hate and it’s taking its toll on your family… it’s understandable why some people can’t make their marriage work.
I understand how some men and women can fall into the trap of the emotional affair by getting just a bit too close to someone who isn’t their spouse. People get itchy; they get “bored.” They want something new and different.
I’m pretty sure it’s not an itch worth scratching.
I’m no great expert, but it seems to be if we’re finding our spouses dull, it might be that we’re not paying enough attention. Currently I’m in a season where I’m only going to see my wife in person for the next two days and then I’ll be seeing her only via FaceTime chats for the better part of two weeks.
I’m not looking forward to that. Why? Because Emily is interesting. She tells me interesting stories about her day, and expresses herself pretty frankly most of the time, and sometimes she cries and I really don’t know what to do (which means I totally respect this guy). Being away from her really, really stinks.
I could go on and wind up with a post that makes no sense whatsoever. But the point is this: There are some itches you should scratch—but the itch that makes you want to quit your marriage isn’t one of them.