One of the many dangers of social media is the temptation to say something before you’ve thought it out. A snarky comment or a genuinely witty remark are occasionally the fruit; more often, the result winds up being something, well… unwise. I almost had a moment like that last week. Fortunately,my wife tends to be sitting next to me whenever I’m preparing to send out a tweet. Because she sometimes has a better sense of—how do I put this?—feeling than me, she usually can tell pretty quickly whether something is going to cross the line from funny to offensive.
This is something I suspect more of us need. Not necessarily a spouse telling us, “Hey, you shouldn’t tweet that,” although that’s definitely helpful. But someone to watch our backs, to helpfully second-guess us when we’re writing, speaking or whatever. An outside perspective to help cover our blind spots, and to push us onto our best work.
And yet, it seems like we’re a bit afraid to do this at times, doesn’t it? We blogger types tend to be secretive about our writing, at least with other bloggers. Is it because we don’t trust other writers to help us? Sometimes, though I’m not sure why we act like this. It’s not like whomever we ask is going to scoop our article for themselves.
Unless they do.
And then they’ll be jerks.
Mostly, I think it’s because we’re afraid to ask. So we publish something with more holes in its logic than my car has rust spots, or presents a straw man, or is just kind of “blah” as a piece of writing—just because we didn’t seek an outside perspective.
Which, of course, is silly.
We all need someone who is going to give us the straight goods on what we’re doing. Who is going to tell us when we’re in danger of crossing a line we ought not cross, or when a joke falls flat, or when something we’ve written just isn’t very good. The only reason we don’t go after it is because we’re either too proud or we afraid of constructive criticism (which also means we might be too proud). Sometimes feedback’s going to hurt, but it’s not because the person giving it doesn’t care. It’s because they do. After all, “faithful are the wounds of a friend,” Proverbs 27:6 tells us.
Whether you believe it or not, you (yes, you) really do need an outside perspective. Don’t let pride or fear blind you to it.