Today, I begin the trek home to London (Ontario) from Louisville, where I enjoyed several days at the Together for the Gospel conference. One of the things that the organizers of T4G know how to do well is load attendees with swag. Every time I attend, I bring home a pile of books that looks like this:
Sometimes I even buy a few. This year, I went crazy and purchased another massive pile of books, as you can see:
Bibliophiles like me and every other attendee of this event often find ourselves walking out of the bookstore in a daze—we’ve experienced this strange world where the book prices are actually pretty great, there’s no church merch, and no one has shelved a Joyce Meyer book next to Albert Mohler. And we’ve purchased. Oh, how we’ve purchased!
And then we ask, “How am I going to get this home?”
Glad you asked!
Step one: Make sure you’ve got a box or a handy tote-bag. Don’t waste your time with those tissue paper thin plastic bags you got at the door on Tuesday. At this point, they won’t hold your seashell collection, let alone the new gloriously gospel-centered additions to your library.
Step two: Fill your bag by layering your books. I recommend using a brick-laying approach: alternate which side has a longer book, to create the illusion of even weight distribution.
Step three: Start over when you realize you could have done it smarter. Because putting your duplicate books at the bottom of the bag is super-intelligent. Starting over will rob you of precious minutes of your life, but in the end it will be worth it.
Step four: Don’t give up. You’re going to be tempted to quit. It’s just after midnight, and you need to get some shut-eye. But how can you rest knowing you’d just have to deal with it in the morning? There’s only a few more to go—keep going!
Step five: Celebrate your victory! You did it, my friend!
You now have your books packed, and you’re ready to go home. So step on that plane, or get in the car victoriously, knowing you could have saved yourself a lot of hassle if you’d only shipped them home while the bookstore was still open.