Today is Emily’s and my tenth wedding anniversary. Yes, she really has put up with my shenanigans for 10 years. And good news: we still really like one another!
Some of you may know the story of our road to the altar: we started dating in college, moved in together during that time, got engaged in a spectacularly unromantic way around Christmas in 2002, bought a house in 2004, and became Christians a few months later. And things went kind of nuts because we had some choices to make about our relationship.
We started thinking and talking about the ifs and whens around getting married. We started talking about when to have children, and what we wanted in a wedding, and all this kind of stuff. We went through a great deal of counselling during that time, together and separately. And there’s one piece of advice we received in our premarital counselling that still sticks with me to this day—a simple reminder of what a wedding really is.
The wedding is not the point; it is a door to step through into marriage.
That’s something I’ve tried to keep in mind every day since. Our wedding day was fantastic, even if there are some things I’d probably do differently if I could. (Like maybe using a few more traditional songs, though I will stand by “No Sissies” until the end of my days.) It was a day that was full of laughter, and great food, and conversations. But it wasn’t the point. It wasn’t our destination. It was the beginning of our journey, a redefinition of Emily’s and my relationship. One that has gone through so many twists and turns over the years that have allowed us to actually live out our vows.
We’ve lived “in sickness and in health”, with epilepsy and miscarriages and the general ups and downs of health. We’ve lived “for richer or poorer”, having spent many years below Canada’s poverty line because we chose to prioritize Emily’s role as a mother ahead of her career. We’ve lived “for better or for worse”, dealing with fights, depression, and lots and lots of laughter.
And in all of it, we’ve seen that God is good.
All of the time.
We don’t know what’s coming next for us. We never do, really. As we’ve journeyed together over these last ten years, I’m grateful Emily has been the one walking alongside me.