Seriously guys, I can’t remember when the internet was less fun than it is right now. Maybe when I used to be part of message board communities back in the early oughts. You know, the good ole days when some folks were mad and sad about the Bush presidency, other folks were mad and sad about something else, and Friends was all about whichever friends were dating one another that season and stuff like that.
Today, it’s much worse. There’s not even the weird creepy relationship problems of Gen-Xers to keep us mildly entertained, since everyone’s trying to make a statement and, therefore, nothing is funny. And I want to change that. Nay, I must change that, for the good of all mankind.
Or, at least, my sanity.
And so, I have a plan. It is a good plan. Five things we can do to take back the interwebs and make them fun again.1
Have a cookie before you tweet. Especially about politics, but this can be true of just about anything. I bet at least 50 percent of the time, you won’t even remember what ticked you off so much because you’ll be enjoying the delicious cookie. Also, cookies are delicious.
More bird’s eye view photos of coffee and coffee-related beverages and accessories with clever captions. These accessories can be vintage vinyl, crafting supplies, or spiritual formation books. Something like this:
And don’t forget, if you’re going to use a quote, it’d better be Anias Nin. I have no idea who she is, but it’s who the cool kids are quoting on their instagrams these days.
More Danny Pudi gifs. Because sometimes that’s what you need to make it all better.
(Bonus points if Donald Glover is involved.)
Just get away from it. Read a book. Go for a walk. Do something else other than be online. I mean, you could do that. I guess.
Just make sure you instagram it.
Start using one hashtag: #GetEmilyTweetingAgain. Make it a movement y’all. Tweet it at her (@strongarmemily). Use it on Instagram and tag her there, too (@strongarmemily). She thinks the internet’s memory is short, so no one is going to remember you unless you’re running for political office and then they remember every weird thing you ever did. It’s time to prove her wrong. Emily makes Twitter fun for me and you, so #GetEmilyTweetingAgain.